by Joanne Wiklund
Sometimes when it’s too quiet here, I sit to think about old friends and miss them. But then I remember to be thankful that they were in my life for such a long fun time overall. I lost another one last week, and I’d been searching for her for almost two years. I think old friends are in a way somewhat like old dogs. They love you unconditionally, after all they really know you and they love you in spite of your “deficits.” After her husband passed years back we kept in touch by phone, but she became reclusive, and finally the last year Hubby was so sick, we only talked a couple of times. Short stints, no real connection. She had health problems and lived alone, with nieces in and out. The last time we were together at her house, she showed me her collection of knitted afghans from a box under her bed. Delicate, fine work from an artisan. We worked together for almost six years for an oral surgeon. I left to become a mother, but she and her husband became extended family. Our times together in later years became mostly funerals.
I tried calling her occasionally but she didn’t answer. I thought maybe she’d become a snowbird. She loved Florida. But one day I reached a niece at her house who told me my friend had fallen and broken her hip. I got the number of the nursing home and called to ask if I could come see her. The nurse I talked with discouraged it, because my friend had lost much of her memory. But she took the phone to my friend’s room and told her she had a phone call. When handed the phone, she asked the nurse, “Who is it?” When the nurse gave her my name my friend asked, “Who?” I heard that on my phone, so I said, “Doris, it’s Joanne Wiklund.” Her reply: “Oh, Jo, you’ve found me!” Tears fell on both ends of the phone. While I was searching for her, she was waiting for me to come to her. We chatted but it was short and so bittersweet. I talked about our days working together and we had a few chuckles. I told her goodbye, not knowing it would be for the last time. A week or so later, I called again and another nurse answered. She wouldn’t even acknowledge that Doris had been there, would not tell me if she was still there or even where she had gone if she had left! I know, HIPPA rules. But I am family, not blood, but by hours and hours of loving. The call I got last week confirmed that she was gone. In a different nursing home. No services till the weather is better. I got the call because my pastor niece has served the rest of the family at their funerals and her extended family called for her to do it one more time.
Through years I have gotten what I call “nudges” to call to check on old friends I don’t see often or even family members. All at once they are coming through my mind loud and clear. When i think about them, I simply have to stop what I’m doing and call to check. I tell them I’m just “counting their nose.” One short or long telephone call makes us both feel loved. I’m still trying not to ignore those “nudges” to count someone’s nose! RIP Auntie DoDo.
Proverbs 17: “A friend loveth at all time, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Romans 1:8” I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all.”
1 Peter 3:10-11: “For he that will love ife and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile. 11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.”