Accepting Help

 

When a glorious Spring day comes along, we can get caught in our “Want To Do’s”. We make “Can Do” lists as well, trying to assign our energy quotient for the day. Every morning I do an assessment of what energy I think I will have for the day and try to match it with my “Want To’s”. I’ve learned that sometimes I think “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” Remember how that is? You see what you’ve done and you’re astonished at your success. But if you really did “eat the whole thing” you know there will be a day of reckoning also, sooner or later and generally it’s sooner. I remember my Number One Son helping others clean and rake a horse barn at the Rock Island County Fair after a long day of washing, brushing and showing his horse. In the car on the way home, I looked at my ten year old closely. I asked him, “Are you tired?” It was obvious he was not only tired, he was smelly dirty. He looked at me and grinned. “Yah, Mom, but it’s a good tired.”

 

A neighbor who has helped me clean up some messes which I myself made because I didn’t want to ask for help, was leaving here one day and he said, “Call me if you need me.” I replied, “If I make a mess and I’m in the middle and can’t get out, I’ll call you.” He had his hand on the front door knob, and he stopped and turned back to me, and said tactfully, “Joanne, listen. If  you think you’re gonna do something that will get you in a mess, call me first. I can just do it, and then we won’t have a mess to clean up.” He knows me well enough to know that I might just try something I really shouldn’t do.

 

Some of us are just not programmed to ask other people for help. That’s what spouses are for, our first line of defense, our encouragement source and our cheerleader when we are successful. I have family and friends that are wonderful encouragers, and help. We often, though, just want to do what we always did, at least one more time. Occasionally it will not work, no matter how hard we try. The buttons won’t button, the clocks won’t go back an hour on demand, and the yard will simply not mow itself. So what do we have to do? My Mom always said that while we are taught that it’s better to give than receive, we should also try to remember to be a good receiver. She insisted that if we never learn how to receive help gracefully, we would never help anyone else learn how to GIVE gracefully. 

 

So if someone asks you if you need help, tell them what you need, large or small requests, and let them decide whether or not they can help. If we always decline offered help, sooner or later, they may stop offering it. And the day you really need it you’re on your own. When love is offered in the form of help, accept it.